Feet and Potatoes

My grocery list, written on the front of the pennysaver, from which I plan my menus. The listed items are the things I need whether or not they're on sale, goddammit.

I Was Warned

Don't go whale watching. Everyone I talked to about the experience said they got horribly sick/didn't see any whales/were doped up on dramamine and only terror kept them awake. My dad, brother, sister-in-law and I headed out despite these warnings. It was one of the nicest days in San Francisco when we left, perfect weather, perfect day. Going under the Golden Gate, stunning. The boat hit some pretty big rolling waves, it was really fun, I was even jumping up at the crest of them, so I could "catch some serious air" as the boat went down, like they do on Deadliest Catch. Then I go inside the cabin to get a fresh battery for my camera, and when I come back out I instantly feel like I am going to die. Mere moments later I am crouched over the side vomiting for what seems like ages, while the entire tour looks on, because this is much more interesting than the whales we're not seeing. I know this is just motion sickness, but I can't get off the ride. I feel better for about five minutes, and then feel sick again. Of course now the boat is fogged in we can't see anything, and its misting. It is like this for hours. I'm alternately sleeping on my dad's shoulder, or praying to die (it's past the point where I am praying for it to get better). 6 hours on this boat. Long story short, NO Whales. The only time we stop the boat, the only thing we see all day, is this:
Which yes, is a bouy, and what's on that bouy you ask? Is it a dead sea lion who in his final throes beached himself there? Yes it is. Thank god I got to see that up-close and in its natural habitat. It was all worth it.

Also, if it's freezing cold and misty how do you get a horrible sunburn on your face that is just peeling now a week later?
Well, don't say I didn't warn you.

The Plot Thickens

So remember the Crushing Bugs post...me too. Well, I just got this new comment on it:
Anonymous said...
weird things are happening. david, foreign, british i thought, maybe irish called me too. the same phone call happenend to me the other night, around 1:30. asking for me by name, talking about a photo shoot in SF crushing bugs. what are the chances? thats just too bizarre? let me know details if ur curious. chelsearae.cole@gmail.com

Weird right? Do I e-mail you Chelsearae? Are you "David"? How did you find me?
What do I do?

Top Chef

Last night, after coming out of an advanced screening of the new HBO documentary series Addiction, I saw this Top Chef, Tiffani. Whereupon I made grabbing motions with my hands, then followed her for half a block before I realized I didn't want to say anything to her, and I didn't like her in the first place. I guess that's what Top Chef can do to a girl, and it's always when you least expect it.

The Beach

1. Carles and her Roomate were on the way to Santa Cruz.
2. They Stopped at the beach.













3. A man caught a big Tiger Shark and put most of it into a bucket.













4. Then they saw a woman walk a dog who couldn't move its back legs, she carried them with a towel.













5. Then they saw this.













6. Carles may be getting spoiled by the West Coast

Aunt Carles

This is one of my nieces chewing on the bloody stump of a fake hand. I post this for two reasons. 1. I think you would have to agree, my niece is incredibly attractive. 2. This highlights some of my failings as an aunt. I think watching a baby gnaw on a fake dismembered hand is hilarious. Her Mother, not so much. Although that's her father's leg in the background, and he thinks it's funny too. Thank god her mother doesn't read my blog.

Sorry

I'm sorry I haven't Blogged. Stuff is happening right now that I can't blog about. And I haven't been able to think of anything else to say. I'll post though.

6 Weird Things

As Per BSH's instructions:
The Rules : Each player of this game starts with the "6 weird things about you." People who get tagged need to write a blog of their own re: 6 weird things, as well as state this rule clearly. In the end, you need to choose 6 people to be tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave a comment that says 'you are tagged' in their comments and tell them to read your blog.

1) I have Chronic Hives.
2) When viewing uncomfortable things (on television or in life) I have to use my two hands to make a "bad things" telescope to peer through, in order to distance myself from the situation.
3) Preferably every day, but at least every few days I have to lie down on the floor of the bathroom while the shower is running (cold water). I have done this since I was little and I had really bad asthma, my parents would put the shower on hot and have me steam until I could breath again. It always felt really safe, and it meant that I was going to feel better. Anyway, the "habit" stuck, now I use the cold water, and I usually read or do crossword puzzles.
4) I recently purchased 6 Anya figurines from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer because 6 were cheaper than one (I am not that person) it was mostly as a joke. I don't know who the "joke" is on though. If you're looking to take them off my hands just let me know.
5) I used to do rat surgery in a psychopharmacology lab. I would put tubes in the rat's jugular vein (which on a rat is tiny), pull the tube out through their back, and sew a shunt into their skin. All so they could get cocaine directly into their bloodstream when they pressed a lever with their paw.
6) My whole life I have had a problem with obsessions. I don't just like things, I become completely obsessed, and then shamed and (for most of them) never want to talk about the obsession again. My family and friends on the other hand love to bring them up. So a short list in Chronological order: Pinnochio, Garfield, Billy Joel, Madonna, Egypt, Barbara Striesand, The X-Files, Jodie Foster, Evita, Absolutely Fabulous, French and Saunders, Dolly Parton, and Strangers With Candy. My apologies to said friends and family for having to see me through some of these. Thank you for your patience.

I only have two people to tag Perpetual Huddle and Tripping Up The Escalator