Full Of Bad Ideas (and Babies)
Helpful Hint #21: If you find yourself at a baby shower, for someone you don't know very well, and there is a lull in the conversation, do not, no matter how much of a hypochondriac you may be, mention off-handedly that you may have scabies. Whilst this would not be a recommended topic for discussion in any setting (except with one's physician) you will find that a baby shower may in fact be the worst place to bring this up. Do not be alarmed if the hostess asks you to get off her couch, and more importantly don't try to "save" the conversation by saying you probably got them on the bus. Most importantly though, if anyone asks you if you have already treated the scabies (with body pesticides) say yes, even if you haven't it will put the hostess' mind at ease. If all else fails you may want to try the following: say that they misheard you in the first place, you don't have a bad case of scabies, you have a bad case of babies, you caught a bad case of babies on the bus. This being a baby shower, the other women will be inclined to believe your stories.
posted by Chef Chris, Cook Caitlin at 9:45 AM
7 Comments:
Hi, who are you? I love you. Please come to my house and give me scabes.
Also, how do you know if you have bedbugs? (Since you're obviously an authority on all things infested.)
Former next-door-neighbor?
yes...Leigh...the hump...also if you think you have bedbugs you probably do.
But they could be mosquito bites... RIGHT?
it's possible... I have to ask you, are the bites focused in a specific area, cause that could really help pin-point what it is. also when do you get the bites (only at night?) 'cause it could be fleas, chiggers, lice, or a nest of baby spiders. you choose. but I think we can figure this out together.
No- not focused in a specific area. I thought they were mosquito bites at first but they are LOOOONG lasting. i'd say like 3-4 weeks per bite. itchy itchy too.
Verdict?
i can tell you they are not fleas, chiggers, or lice, which leaves scabies (esp. if they are biting at night/ you find bites in the morning) mosquitos, or mites, spider bites last longer, but they are also usually bigger than say a mosquito bite. If you aren't noticing them most in the morning, or waking up with new bites, I would probably say mosquitos. But I'm no expert, despite obvious evidence to the contrary.
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