You Don't Know WHAT I Had To Do To Get This

This is one of my most prized possessions, recently unearthed. I found it in a box with an African-American Vanderbilt Cheerleader Barbie, and a bunch of hunks of granite. It's one of those 'wood' (particle board) paintings that find themselves so often in Salvation Army. I on the other hand had to convince a devout Christian man who ran a 'store' out of his living room, that I had a niece who loved basketball and Jesus, and that this was the most perfect confluence of her interests, and that I simply must have it. I'm not good at 'straight-faced' so this was a challenge for me. But it was worth that momentary awkwardness and a million moments more.
I would like to take this opportunity to point out some of the finer points of the piece. First, and most obviously, Jesus is about to HOUSE those little children. He is about to slam that ball down, possibly causing on of those boys to get a bloody nose, or worse. Also, the are shooting at the Cross not the hoop, is Jesus defending the Cross from their basketball? Or is he using his magic to float the ball just out of their reach? Why is it so dusty where they are playing? Look at the girl.
I apologize to my mother and my roommate (my loyal viewers( hi, by the way)) for the lack of updates. But I'm glad to have this recorded for posterity. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.